"kids say the darndest things!"
As a child, I was no exception to this famous saying. If you were to ask my parents about some of the things I said when I was younger, you would probably be shocked. One story in particular takes place when I was six years old. When I was in the first grade, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. At such a young age, I did not fully understand the seriousness of a 'lump'. I just knew that Momma was sick, and she needed to take it easy.
As my mother began chemotherapy, she also began to lose her hair. Instead of watching it slowly come out, she decided to just shave it all off at once. In my eyes, she was trying to be funny. I watched as the razor revealed a shiny, bald head under my mother's hair. My words probably weren't the most comforting, but at least it gave her a good laugh. When I saw her newly bald head, I told her, "Momma, you look like an onion head." Well... she did look like an onion head to a six year old. I remember every time she looked in the mirror that was hanging in the main hall way, she would pretend like it was the first time she had seen her head. Every time she screamed at her reflection, my brother and I cracked up.
The chemo and radiation made her tired a lot, so my brother and I took on some new responsibilities. Among other things, I decided that I wanted to answer the phone whenever it rang. One of the 'Ladies of the Church' called to talk to my mother once. When she heard me answer the phone, of course she started talking in a baby voice. I, however, wanted to talk in a grown-up voice, since I was mature enough to answer the phone and all. When she finally asked if she could talk to my mother, I said, "I'm sorry. She can't come to the phone right now. She swallowed a golf ball today!" Someone should have told me that you esophagus was not at all connected to your breasts.
These times weren't the only occasions when I entertained everyone with my comments. When I was about two, an employee at Kroger saw me looking at a fake frog exhibit, and she asked me if I knew what frogs say. I guess she was expecting 'ribbet,' or something to that effect, but I said, "Budddweiserrr!" Mayber that's why they stopped showing those commercials. Also, around Christmas, probably expecting me to say a pony or something. I told Santa, "I want some ______ shoes, because my mother doesn't like any of the ones I have!" Earlier that day my mom had been fussing at me about the shoes I kept putting on. I just relayed to message! Well, I definitely had a mouth on me when I was younger. It's the same mouth, but wisdom has helped me filter what I say... to some extent!
Recent Comments