The Adventure

Two weeks ago we got to choose our on topic to write about it. I chose a fantasy. Well hear it goes. 

    "Yes, yes, yes," I shouted at the top of my lungs. I had won three tickets to Egypt. I took two of friends Johny and Alejandro. A big yellow airport van came and picked us up. When we arrived at the big, blue, low rider plane Johny fell into a trashcan. "Help," Johny exclaimed. We got him out, but he smelled like a dead fish.

  The plane was about to leave  us , but we got on in the nick of time. Johny still smelled like dead fish,  and had to seat at the back. "Oh no," Johny yelled. "What's wrong now," we asked. "I forgot my Hot Cheetos," Johny said. "Here I got a bag," said Alejandro. "Oh one more thing you need to take a bath," Alejandro replied.

   After six long hours of traveling we arrived. All we saw was sand and more sand. "Okay, I'm bored," Johny complained. "Oh quit your belly aching," we screamed. We waited for three hours for the taxi to come and pick us up.

     Then we heard a rumble from behind. It was a huge chocolate tank. It shot a gumball at the taxi. We ran as fast as we could. We followed the tank to a huge palace. We went into the palace.

   Then we saw the tank going down a stairway. We followed it. The we saw a room full of candy. The top of the tank opened and a boy came out of it. It was Juan with a glowing blue piece of candy. He put it in a tomb that said Two Ton Candy. Then Juan turned 50 feet tall. All the candy was sticking to him and he turned into candy.

  He saw us and chased us  into a prison. We were trapped when Johny began eating Hot Cheetos and became 50 feet tall. "Give us some," we told Johny. "Okay here," he said. We turned 50 feet tall too. Juan saw us and shut us with gumballs. Then Johny started  glowing  like the Hot Cheetos and we started to do the same too.

  We quickly melted Juan into goo and ran outside. We began to recover our normal size. We told all the children of Egypt to come to the palace and take some candy. We took some too. When we got  back to the U.S. everybody asked us about our journey. So we told everybody.

Comments

[An elementary teacher in Georgia]

I like your story! It is very imaginative. Keep blogging!

[Colleen]

Marcos, I loved your fantasy story! It was so creative. I think that you made good use of imagery in your story as well. For example, I really liked the part where Johny fell in the trashcan and smelled like dead fish. You did a great job of incorporating humor into your story. I hope that you are still writing fantasy stories now.

Another thing that I thought I would recommend to you is a serious of books called “Choose Your Own Adventure.” When I was your age these books were very popular, and I think that you would really like them. While you read these books, the reader is given the choice of how the story will progress and chooses what page to turn to for the next adventure. I hope that you enjoy them!

[yo mama]

its okay but kind of lame

[jando]

damn...you suck...nerd...go suck a dick..nd by the way you know me...