A Whole New World Found By A Girl

      

                A girl named Hailey was dressed in a frilly blue dress. She was going to church, to put new flowers in the vase that sits on the preacher’s podium. When she walked into the church there was no one in sight. So she walked up to the podium, but she accidentally knock over the vase. The vase cracked in half and the ground shuck. She ran outside to tell her mom what happened, but she paused and looked around just to see where she was.                                                                                                                                  

               All she saw was a lake and a forest surrounding it. The lake was so blue that it matched Hailey’s eyes. She was in the middle of no were. She was very interested in the lake so she went swimming. The water was soothing, and her blond hair shined when the sun hit it. After she got out she went walking through the forest. The animals greeted her as she passed them. When the moon came out she though she should get home so she went back to the church. Her only problem was that the vase was broken. If the vase was broken she could never go back home.
          Just as she started to cry she remembered that there was a vase just like that one in the office. So she ran to the office and got it. She put the new flowers in it and placed it on the podium. The ground shuck, but the vase didn't fall. After words she ran outside and she was in her home town again. The weird thing was time never pasted; it was like she never went there. Hailey walk home but she never told anyone about that place and she never went back.

Comments

[Ms. Scarbary]

Victora-

Your story has wonderful imagery. I love the line-The lake was so blue that it matched Hailey’s eyes. Your use of detail really helps me picture the soothing water of the lake.
Keep Writing!

[Jim]

Victoria,
That's a great story! It reminds me of C.S. Lewis's The Chronicles of Narnia. People, usually children, in those stories are always being transported into other worlds. I like the way you used details, it made me feel like I was really in the story.

[J. Esteban]

You really use detail in great ways in this story. Your description of the lake was beautiful, and I like the way you said that it felt soothing for the character. I feel the same way when I am at the lake, and it really made the image stick out in my head. Keep up the great work!

[chris]

Just down the glen from where I took this photo there is a small church. It is cold and damp, but very silent and lovely among the trees. So you see your story catches some of the reality behind this picture - well done!

[Sarah]

I love your story. You had great details.