Thinking & Writing Wrinkles

Learning from other student voices!

You're going to love this lesson!  Emily, Jennifer, and Derrick, who were in last year's NewsQuest group, are really going to be especially excited because today's lesson comes from a new group of Mr. Richardson's students. Now these students are not teaching you directly, just indirectly.  They don't even know that their good voices are going to be recognized in this way but credit is due and you are the lucky ones because you get to learn from them! Isn't that the wonder of weblogs?

The past couple of weeks we have been focusing on comments and you are doing great.  For this lesson, I just have to share some very astute comments from his group of journalism students.  We're going to discuss them and learn from them. Pay close attention to the wording of their suggestions, too.  It will help you on your own commenting.  This is going to be fun! 

Mallory comments on Dana's site:

Also, one thing that I'm particularly impressed with is the fact that Dana truly picked a topic that I think she's passionate about, right down to the last stitch (haha...ok maybe not but I thought it was funny...) I absolutely think that this comes through in all of her posts.

What we'll talk about....... being passionate about a topic, the play on words, what makes this come through on all her posts

Claire's comments on Mallory' site:

I really like some of the posts that Mallory has done. This one, for example, is good because she has a direct quote in it, which takes her to a link that explains more or less what the quote is about. She seems to have gathered a lot of good info. and she keeps it well organized here.

What we'll talk about....... a direct quote, importance of a link, gathering good info, being well organized

Devin's comments on Jess' site:

Write a headline: "Depression in Teens: The Upcoming Trend?"

This is from Jess's site. I think all of us feel the same way about writing headlines. But I think this headline is actually very good. If this was my article that is the one I would use. I definitley like the approach that Jess is pointing towards and I think it will make her article really interesting. I think if we write down lots and lots of headlines we will find the right one.

What we'll talk about....... how writing down lots and lots of headlines may help

Kristen's comments on Amelia's site:

Amelia's interview request is very well-written and I think there's a great chance she'll get a response from it (if she hasn't already). She starts off by saying where she found the person's, compliments her work, then asks her questions. The questions are precise and to the point, and I think she'll get some good responses out of it and some usable quotes.

What we'll talk about....... questions that are precise and to the point  (Isn't this one appropriate for the 3 of you who are getting ready to prepare some interview questions? Good timing!)

Devin's comments on Matt's site:

Entice the Reader: Twelve year old Jeremy Sahan has been sitting at his computer for the last five hours without a break. A thin line of sweat forming on his forehead, the boy is almost finished. His squeaky high pitched voice screamed "Dude, I ROCK!" as his newest weapon upgrade for the popular online video game Diablo began to take bids on EBAY.

I really liked these two openings to Matt's story. I think both of them are interesting and both intice the reader's attention. I again feel that the approach of writing many will ultimatley help us right the best opening for our article. I liked his tactics but I also liked how he wrote what he wrote. Great job!

What we'll talk about....... hooking your reader, good leads, how you write what you write

Dana's comments on Meredith's site:

"I guess for me (someone who does care about the news) it's kind of upsetting to see that my peers have so little interest in it all. Some of the smartest people that I know have no idea what goes on in the world, and to me that's just SUCH a waste of intellect. To be honest, I guess I'm kind of looking for my article to guilt trip some people into picking up a newspaper. I want to see my generation be well-informed, and I would do a lot to see that happen. I guess this article is just my first step in doing so." --From Meredith. I think Meredith's got a strong focus on what she wants to do with her article. At least she's articulating it well. Good luck, Meredith!

What we'll talk about....... "knowing what's going on in the world" is something you guys know so I just had to put this in here to suggest that this would be a great subject for you to write about to encourage others and tell how it has helped you, why they should be well-informed.....anyone up for the challenge?

Comment quality is going up!

I was really proud of all of you at Thursday's session.  You have really "bumped up" the quality of your comments and are truly helping each other.  Editing is hard work but you just rolled up your sleeves and went right to work.  Having to really think about another person's writing other than your own is  helpful for your own writing. It gets you thinking about lots of ways you can improve.  That's what we are striving to accomplish. So, congrats on the quality of your comments - much more important than quantity. Yeah, I know you like quantity, too.  I hear you! We'll work on getting a good mix of both.

Mrs. Smith has created a weblog to celebrate student writing from third graders at J.H. House.  Next week we will visit the site and use the comment feature to encourage these emerging writers.  If you want to take a sneak peek, go to Writers Rock!  Hats off to Mrs. Smith!  More webloggers are entering the arena.  Isn't that neat?

Keep up the good work!  Six more days till Thursday!

Celebrating Emily's Writing!

Once opon a time, there was a great super hero, busy as a beaver helping the World Wide Web blog. It's SUPERTHINKER!!!! Using only hi-tech equipment, she never buys a pig in a poke.

 

One sleepy day, Superthinker heard a yell for help, so soaring through the air she heard the cry for help once again. She was all ears, "Aha" she said spotting the distressed blogger. "Help!!!!!!!!!!" She heard again but landed next to the blogger in distress. "HOW IN THE WORLD DO YOU CHANGE THE BLOGS BACKGROUND SUPERTHINKER!!!" The Blogger screamed, attracting attention. Right then, Superthinker knew the blogger was chewing up the scenery and making a mountain out of a molehill. Then Superthinker told the blogger what to do in a nutshell. "Don¢‰Áçt worry, it's a piece of cake." She then was interrupted. "But I heard through the grapevine about all of this complicated nonsense!"  See you press this button and do this." Thank you so much Superthinker! I didn't mean to make waves!!!" the blogger said while taking his hat off. "Also don't think you have to shape up or ship out to be a blogger, Rome was not built in a day you know!" Superthinker added, as she zoomed off. The blogger was on cloud nine and was tickled pink.

by Emily

Editing is hard work!

Today you learned that editing is hard work!  However, we know it is going to pay off!  You tackled a difficult task when you tried your hand at writing an idiom story - easier said than done, right?  It is a perfect opportunity for us to take a piece of writing and work through several drafts so you can see how peer editing, revising, discussing, and thinking will truly improve your writing.  Time sure flies in our class.  I appreciate your hard work.  I know not everyone got to the idiom sites but we will continue that next week.  All of your stories had good thoughts and we are going to work together to make them better.  You are such diligent workers and so helpful to each other.  I know Ms. P's fifth grade class will enjoy hearing from you.  We all celebrated Emily's excellent story and in celebration the next post will be dedicated to her!  Way to go, Emily!

Thursday is fast becoming my favorite day of the week!

Well, we talked about crediting sources but then did not allow enough time in the lab to finish that. That's OK, there's always next week and you all were on a roll writing about weblogs!  I can't wait to share that with other educational webloggers!

I'm glad you liked my idiom story and are going to try your hand at it for homework this week.  Aren't we going to have fun reading those stories next week?  I think the best time for our group is right at the beginning when we share our writings, help each other with suggestions and praises, and then discuss ways to make our writing better. Next week is going to be so much fun.  Yep, we may even have to kick up our heels after sharing our stories!

Also, I am so excited about the project that Emily, Jennifer & Derrick are going to undertake.  They have picked such a worthwhile topic - why we should keep art, music, and physical education in the school curriculum.  They have plans to interview teachers, search the net for information, and maybe even come up with something that we could send our legislators.  Wow!  After much brainstorming and tossing ideas out, Jennifer suggested this topic and everyone knew that it was exactly the one that they wanted to research. What's really impressive about this is that these 3 students will be doing this on their own time - they are motivated to try to make a difference in something they care about.  I am so proud of them!  I can't wait to tell their art, music, and PE teacher about their chosen topic.  These particular teachers really do a terrific job of integrating the curriculum across their subject areas PLUS every lesson is alive and full of the most interesting activities.  Then the use of technology in each class is outstanding. Yamaha is used in the music classes.  The PE teacher is implementing the TriFIT 620 system. It provide teachers with the ability to quickly and accurately evaluate student fitness levels while teaching health and wellness concepts. The goal is to sustain lifetime fitness. Then the art teacher uses digital cameras, flex cameras, and other technology daily.  Check out the great art work from J. H. House displayed on Artsonia.

We welcome Amber and Angelica to our group!  They were both hoping to get an available spot that had come up and there was no way to choose between these two hard workers so both will be coming.  They have been working hard and are excited about joining the group.  We are delighted to have them!

Thursday is fast becoming my favorite day of the week!  See you then!