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Hello Derrick! SuperThinker here, ready for a little blog chat! I really enjoyed your story! Since I read your first draft, and then your post, I can really see the changes you made in your story. I must tell you that your revisions are excellent. On the first read I didn't understand how the money you were saving connected with bowling, but on the second draft you made it clear--the money is for an Inferno Ball! Wow--you sure have saved up a lot of money and that tells me that you are really committed to bowling. You really ARE passionate about it! What fun! And, I loved the way you described your being filled with joy but putting on a poker face! Nice use of words, Derrick! Hmmm... you really are "aiming to be the top dog in writing!"

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