I was tickled pink when my sister couldn't find the needle in the Haystack. It gave me a chance to find it. I was walking on eggs because my sister was cheating. "Whether, you like it or lump it I am certain I am going to win!" I told her proudly. The game took till the cows came home. "Well, Jenny since you found the needle, I guess you're the top-drawer,"she said like she made no bones about me winning.
Hi Jennifer,
Good try on this story but I am a little unclear as to why your sister was looking for a needle in the haystack. Look up the meaning again and come to me Thursday so we can talk some more. I do like the way you used "like it or lump it! I love the way you always get right to work and try very hard! Good trait to have!
Mrs. Davis
Posted by: Anne Davis | February 18, 2004 at 09:06 PM
I absoulutely LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE the story! Everything fits well and the idioms were used in the right way. To make it even better you could...
1. If the 1st sentence was true, you could put the word literally after haystack.
2. You could make it longer by summing up the end better
3.In the 2nd sentence, what do you mean by it?
4.If you want to make some more sense to the readers, you could change needle in a haystack, to somthing else.
All in all, GREAT JOB!!!
Posted by: Emily | February 19, 2004 at 09:55 AM
Mrs. Davis, I want to thank you for the suggestions you gave me for my story. I always love to have comments that help me out! Well I have to go type away.
Posted by: Jennifer | February 19, 2004 at 10:16 AM
M&M, thanks for the comment on giving suggestions. I use them to help myself. By the way, when can we meet to do our project?
Posted by: Jennifer | February 19, 2004 at 10:20 AM
Hola Jennifer--SuperThinker here having some blogging fun! Let me make no bones about it--I could read your blog till the cows come home. Keep up your good writing Jennifer!
Posted by: SuperThinker | February 19, 2004 at 11:05 PM
Hi Jennifer. I read your coment about that California and Geogia are in the same country. I like being in America. Do you visit another country?
Posted by: Sandra | February 19, 2004 at 11:43 PM
Hi Jennifer. I read your coment about that California and Geogia are in the same country. I like being in America. Do you visit another country?
Posted by: Sandra | February 19, 2004 at 11:44 PM