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December 05, 2006



Hi Mary,

I really like your addition of this simile: "Sarah's mood changed as fast as storm clouds gathering in the night sky."

Between that simile and your extraordinary introductory sentences about a tranquil place on the beach, I was really ready for an ending in a horrific storm with Cassie and Sarah comparing their expectations and reality. Boy did you surprise me. With your exceptional vocabulary, what could you do with that kind of ending? I'd love to read it!


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