Ivan the Frightful

In Jamaica, Alabama, Florida, and Georgia there was a terrible hurricane called Ivan. The hurricane killed about twenty-three people. It made lots of floods and people were without electricity for days. People were evacuating, but some didn’t care and when Ivan hit they didn’t have time to go to a safe place. Ivan was a category four hurricane. I wish I new more about the category four and what it meant. Ivan hit New Orleans after it destroyed Jamaica and Cuba. Ivan was not showing any weaknesses and it was going very slow, and when they are slow they are more destructive. State how you would have felt if you were in that hurricane

Revised Version

In several states and Jamaica there was a frightful hurricane called Ivan!!! The hurricane killed about twenty-three people. It made a lot of harm by flooding streets. The water went above some trees. Some people lasted days without electricity. People were evacuating and some didn’t listen, when Ivan hit they didn’t have a secure place to go to. Houses were destroyed and schools were damaged. When the year started kids couldn’t go to school because all of the damage that the hurricane made. Ivan was a category four hurricane. I wish I knew more about the categories and how much damage hurricanes make. Ivan hit New Orleans after it destroyed Cuba and Jamaica. Ivan was not showing any weaknesses and it was going very slow, if it went slow that meant that it was going to be more destructive. Have you ever been in a hurricane? If so explain how you felt.

Comments

[Mrs. Davis]

I love your choice of adjectives - frightful really does describe Ivan. Keep on bumping up that vocabulary! Good work!

[Paulina]

I think that it was really nice of her to say that even though I used a thesaurus. I liked that comment,and I hope I always get posittive comments from her. I will also try to bump up more words.

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